15 Things I Wish I'd Known About Grief
A friend on one of my widow boards posted a wonderful article called 15 Things I Wish I'd Known About Grief by Teryn O'Brien. Here is what she writes:
After a year of grief, Ive learned a lot. Ive also made some
mistakes along the way. Today, I jotted down 15 things I wish Id known
about grief when I started my own process.I pass this onto anyone on the journey.

1. You will feel like the world has ended. I promise, it hasnt. Life will go on, slowly. A new normal will come, slowly.2. No matter how bad a day feels, it is only a day. When you go to sleep crying, you will wake up to a new day.3. Grief comes in waves. You might be okay one hour, not
okay the next. Okay one day, not okay the next day. Okay one month, not
okay the next. Learn to go with the flow of what your heart and mind are
feeling.4. Its okay to cry. Do it often. But its okay to laugh, too. Dont
feel guilty for feeling positive emotions even when dealing with loss.5. Take care of yourself, even if you dont feel like it. Eat healthily. Work out. Do the things you love. Remember that you are still living.6. Dont shut people out. Dont cut yourself off from relationships. You will hurt yourself and others.7. No one will respond perfectly to your grief. People–even
people you love–will let you down. Friends you thought would be there
wont be there, and people you hardly know will reach out. Be prepared
to give others grace. Be prepared to work through hurt and forgiveness
at others reactions.8. God will be there for you perfectly. He will never, ever
let you down. He will let you scream, cry, and question. Throw all your
emotions at Him. He is near to the brokenhearted.9. Take time to truly remember the person you lost. Write
about him or her, go back to all your memories with them, truly soak in
all the good times you had with that person. It will help. 10. Facing the grief is better than running. Dont hide from the pain. If you do, it will fester and grow and consume you.11. You will ask “Why?” more times than you thought
possible, but you may never get an answer. What helps is asking, “How?
How can I live life more fully to honor my loved one? How can I love
better, how can I embrace others, how can I change and grow because of
this?” 12. You will try to escape grief by getting busy, busy, busy. You will think that if you dont think about it, itll just go away. This isnt really true. Take time to process and heal.13. Liquor, sex, drugs, hobbies, work, relationships, etc.,
will not take the pain away. If you are using anything to try and numb
the pain, it will make things worse in the long run. Seek help if youre
dealing with the sorrow in unhealthy ways.14. Its okay to ask for help. Its okay to need people. Its okay, its okay, its okay.15. Grief can be beautiful and deep and profound. Dont be
afraid of it. Walk alongside it. You may be surprised at what grief can
teach you.
The link to the original is here: http://identityrenewed.com/2013/11/21/15-things-i-wish-id-known-about-grief/